This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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