I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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