I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
