Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
