I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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