I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
