Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
