dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
