After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize