I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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