my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ok first of all what the fuck
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
