His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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