how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
