I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
