eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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