i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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