and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
