the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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