I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
