I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We just shotgunned beers for America
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
