And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
