So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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