3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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