You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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