what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
