The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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