so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't think brook has ever known best
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
