Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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