my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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