My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
