If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
