How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
