Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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