Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
