brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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