If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
