I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
