if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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