it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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