the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
