dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
