Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
