Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
