Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
