That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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