my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
