I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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