She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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