Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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