I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
