So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
