Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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