using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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